Polite Satisfaction

I was recently traveling for business, and was pleasantly refreshed about the polite manners business people showed not only to one another, but also to service workers. College students, presumably witnesses to this routinely nice commentary, mimicked the polite thanks and quips of "have a nice day" to service personnel - from restaurant staff to bus drivers. How admirable!

And surprising. Living in the Deep South, which is supposedly the epitome of culture and chivalry, I realized that the niceties are given more frequently upward. Deference and politeness are overly exuberant toward persons of higher rank. Alas, these genteel folks aren't so appreciative in thanking someone for bringing tabasco to the dining table or opening a door for someone who's hands are full if it doesn't seem like they can get something out of it. There is an aura of expectation that others simply perform what they consider menial tasks for them - even when the tobacco is set on a service area for them to access themselves.

Many suppositions could be made for why the upward deference remains in the south. But, I cannot imagine why you cannot be polite to everyone. Why would anyone choose to be self-isolated on a beautiful day and not even share a smile of not mutter a thank you?

Perhaps the message of community needs to be reinforced without huge natural or manmade disasters in the south again. Community is important, regardless of where you are or when you lived. When a community is weak and propped up essentially on propaganda, it's not healthy for anyone and the smoke and mirrors will eventually focus the light in the right direction to see the puppeteer behind the curtain.

Even in the 1800s, there were guardians of propriety as well as doing the right thing - and it was everyone looking out to make sure everyone was ok, well-informed, and not rudely overstepping bounds or takin advantage of others. The link below is interesting for many reasons, but it shows how society viewed things such as the sanctity of someone's home.

It's a shame that people have forgotten why being nice and doing the right things are important (and it doesn't cost a thing). But you don't have to go along with the crowd - stand out and stand up for what's right and polite.

http://www.npr.org/sections/npr-history-dept/2015/10/16/448709223/12-etiquette-screw-ups-in-1896