The most successful leaders have not had an obstacle-free path to leadership, yet so many workers have a delusion that reaching the top of the ladder is pain-free and the “right” way to great achievement. News abounds of “not so perfect” work situations, with many people looking for a way out. However, only looking for a door can mean you are shown the exit before you’re prepared with another opportunity - or prior to absorbing all the good parts the current employment can give.
When you are goal-oriented (vision minded) rather than task-oriented (rungs of the ladder), you grasp not for the ever-moving next rung, but the fact it’s unrealistic to think that success arrives without having to experience growth opportunities along the way. (It would also be boring, and if you are boring with no “tests” of your mettle to show what you know while ascending the corporate ladder, the rungs will stop appearing.) But what makes those rungs appear?
Consider these leaders’ strong personal values systems while facing a wide range of toxicity. There are those well known—Bill Gates (whose first business failed yet now runs the largest human rights foundation in the world), Sir Richard Branson (controlling over 400 companies while leading through dyslexia) and Fredrick Douglass (born into slavery, yet became one of the leading abolitionist leaders as well as a preacher).
And other notable leaders in the world, too. Sharon Ebadi is an Iranian lawyer and was the first female judge in Iran, winning the Nobel Peace prize for democracy and human rights. Ursula Burns (CEO for eight years and now chairwoman of Xerox) was raised in a housing project. Aung San Suu Kyi, a Myanmarian civil rights leader who had been imprisoned for fifteen years, earned the Nobel Peace Prize for her peaceful leadership on human rights while imprisoned. Telling the real story of the disappeared (while fleeing from those who wanted to kill her, just as they had her family), Rigoberta Menchú Tum is a Nobel Laureate Guatemalan author. Dr. Mae Jamison, a physician, is the first African-American female astronaut and has to deal with two worlds of complexity!
Each one of these visionaries experienced a variety of toxicity in their professional lives. There are many people who have described the bad vibes underlying toxicity, including research by Amy Scholten, MPH, who says, “Toxic workplaces are fueled by immature, dysfunctional leaders.” While I would call those types of people in management anything but leaders, the tone rings true as she describes their lack of morality, hypocritical nature, high aggression, scapegoating, unreasonableness… I’m sure you are already adding to this list from what you’ve seen.
While preparing my upcoming presentation for a national conference, I realized resilience fuels the fire of those who excel. Adversity comes in many forms for all businesses, and frequently it presents in the form of a nasty co-worker. Learning to handle those situations gracefully (not ignoring them) will propel your standing with those around you, enabling you to handle more as you progress in your career and rapidly extricate your from toxic areas.
To bring more meaning to your workplace and facts to your portfolio, regardless of the concentration of toxicity, it really is all about you and how you use obstacles to lift yourself. One area of professionals call this self-deployment: “to arrange in a position of readiness, or to move strategically or appropriately (Dictionary dot com) ” or “move something in an effective way (Cambridge English Dictionary)”
This is how you need to tackle your current situation; modifying your perspective is how you begin right now.
- Identify the real meaning in the madness. One of my former colleagues loved to use the term “crazy-making” for other people’s reaction to a situation instead of action toward resolution of the problem. When the implementation of a solution is out of reach, you still retain control of the lesson you can learn as well as retaining your own focus on problem-solving instead of problem-enhancing.
- Establish concrete goals. There is a reason for the toxicity - your own attitude and approach are your responsibility, and no one else’s. This is a job and does not define your being, your soul, your future. You know where you want to be, so start using your energy for a plan to get there. Gossip about the “evil” in the office does not help though having activities and goals away from the office keeps you centered, and developing goals for your exit keeps you healthy as you focus on the ways you will leave on your own terms in a positive way.
- Refine your filter. This is a two-way process, for inbound messages as well as your outbound communication. The information coming to you will have spin and be framed with the toxic agenda. When you find the real meaning and know your goals are to achieve efficiency, creativity or productivity, you can strain the distraction and see the true bottom line. Likewise, when you are sending out information, you can craft your meaning with intentional word choices that will neither inflame an ego nor draw negative attention to your talents.
- Remove project overreach. Undoubtedly, this is the environment that pushes staff to work all hours of the day and night for unrealistic ends. When you begin to not only define, but hold fast to boundaries that encroach upon achieving what you’ve outlined in step number two, it allows you to use energy on your own time to get to a better space. Your time away forth office is all positive, so leave the negative things there (even if you telecommute - there are boundaries that now you have your exit plan in process, you can more safely enforce).
- Get moving. You are more important than “them.” Don’t question your abilities; step one shows you how to identify the source of the incapability so you don’t repeat the problems as a leader and don’t find another place that has the same issues. The fifth step is using your hand to wave goodbye without burning a bridge, while embracing thankfulness that you’re moving forward.
Handling toxicity and adversity is a process, not an event, when you need to continue performing while seeking improvements. This involves identification, planning, timeframe scope of action and launch - the same steps in good project management. You can treat your exit just as you would a new product launch, where you are the product taking your skills to somewhere more valuable and in line with your mission.
Positive attitude in negative situations… gives abilities including natural success. PAINS to GAINS. You can get there.
Heather M. Hilliard is Principal and Chief Strategist for R. Roan Enterprises, LLC, a professional services consulting firm supporting businesses in pointed areas of expertise as well as with individuals for targeted projects or career development. For more articles like these, visit her posts on LinkedIn or on G+.
#seizetheday, #makeithappen
