Never Say "I Can't"

You can get a lot accomplished in twenty-five years. 

Or you can watch everything go. 

Twenty-five years ago, a healthy young man had a soaring career and was shockingly diagnosed with a debilitating disease after having some strange problems at work one day. Starting with problems walking and holding still, muscles began to deteriorate. Tremors formed. Memory faded.

He hid the truth for seven years, trying to cope around his fears and mask things with alcohol. Realizing that was making things worse, he sobered up and turned around.

He flat out told everyone and became an advocate - even when it meant testifying in front of Congress when not on his medication.  

Creating a new path for his amazing talent, he continued his career involving humor and education on what people like us can do for people like him.

Most of his international awards were earned after he was diagnosed.

This weekend, the incurable optimist (in his own words) nailed a performance he did thirty years ago - the lead singer is so captured by watching him play that he almost misses his cue to sing.

Fighting for change never stops, especially when you never say "I can't" because if he can, think of what you can.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j84qHoPmfnM 

Wicked Problems, Up and Down

When you were young, did you think telescopes or microscopes were the coolest things? 

You could get a telescope to bring the big things into much closer view. It brought the man in the moon right to your house in crater form and you could try to draw the rising moon for an art project. Blurry galaxies became clearer specs of stardust and some suddenly even had beautiful varieties of color if you went out to the ball field at the bottom of the hill or a farm field when you went to camp and just looked up. 

Or having a microscope meant you could pluck a hair from your best friend's head and look at the ridges, figuring out which way the hair grows. You could grow your own crystals through a science kit (or by a creative mom showing you how to make a salt water suspension with food dye, drying it to see colored salt crystals made in your own kitchen) and look at how these teeny tiny building blocks adhere together as you looked down. 

Both of these tools brought things into better focus, where you could see the big picture before putting your eye to the portal to the world beyond your fingertips. And when we outgrew these adventures, do you see any tools surrounding you today that inspire your imagination and dare you to dream every day at your job?

Do you remember why you stopped thinking about wicked problems, eventually going along with the status quo?  Children have an uncanny way of taking the impossible and making it come alive, creating fantastic questions (where fantastic is the real definition of "extraordinarily good; challenging beliefs") and awesome solutions (as "inspirations of reverence"). 

It's interesting that within the definition of awesome it notes that awesome things can also inspire fear. Fear of what if that's really what out there, little men with antenna watching us from another planet... Fear of what we might learn about the evolution of bacteria and diseases...

The cliche "what would you do if you were not afraid" applies today just as much as it did when we were little.  We didn't have preconceived notions as children, ones that would separate us based on foolish lines as we get older, lines drawn in the sand or determined by which way the wind blows from generation to generation. 

Whether you decide to look up or look down, take your sleeping child-like wonder and shake it awake. Apply it to wicked problems in order to make a positive difference in the life of someone else. You might surprise yourself (as "an astonishing event").

Mirage

Mirage - the word comes to English via the French words mirage (from se mirer (to be reflected) and mirus (wonderful) as well as from the Latin mirari, meaning “to wonder at.” There are also clues in etymology that indicate the Arabic mi’raj was of influence; however, the meaning there connotes ascending or climbing.  Misleading images are frequently mistaken for reflections in extreme heat.  Most often, a mirage is the mistaken identification of an oasis (of water) in the middle of a desert.

Have you ever had a dream of something you'd like to do or become, seeing it as a vision set in the future?  Has it seemed like a distant thought, put far out of your mind and only considered on a rainy day?  Well, mirage means a reflection of something wonderful, and you can make it happen if you focus on the future and what lies ahead.

Consider this.  Several years ago, my mother and I went to Ireland with friends.  Renting a car, I began to leave the lot, driving a standard shift vehicle with the wheel on the right side of the car - and while the gear shift and pedal orientation was in the same place, the pedals were also on the right side of the car (of course) and you need to use your left hand to shift gears.

Laughter and caution abundant in the roundabout, I began to adjust the rear-view mirror when it suddenly dislodged in my left hand - the same hand that was needed to shift to third gear and proceed out of the circle on the wrong side of the road with the turn signal indicator God-knows-where (likely to be used by my very busy left hand).  Smartly, I figured out how to shift and hold the mirror while returning to the car rental agency. 

Leaving my mother waiting in the car and strolling into the rental facility, there was a man that appeared to be born at the time of Saint Columba and a younger bloke off to the back.  I told the older gentleman with apologies that the rearview mirror came off as I adjusted it.  Perfectly in time with my last word, he retorted in a friendly way, “Ach, well ye’ve got two others, don’t ya? Throw it in the box and be on your way.”

Glancing at the younger guy as the older one left the office, he shrugged his shoulders, agreed I should just put it in the box (that would be glove box) and to enjoy the island.  Ah yes, don’t we all know why the Irish saved civilization - with their common sense!  Smart advice to not worry about your rear view mirror.

When you focus on what's ahead of you, it's easier to get farther, to reach higher, to make bigger dreams come true.  That's what I recently did, and as of today, I am a published author.  Crime, history and political mysteries have found a new home (available in hardback on Amazon and BN or ebooks everywhere), all wrapped up in a fictional tale.

Keep focused on the future ahead of you, not what lies behind you or who is trying to keep up with you.  Take the wheel and get to your dream destination.

Stick with the A-B-Cs

I delivered a package to someone and decided to walk it to the house. The shortest route there (since I was doing some heavy lifting) was easiest, but I took the scenic route to return.  

If I hadn't chosen the longer path, I would have missed the five deer that ran down the side of the hill and watched me walk past them.  I felt like an intruder with these majestic animals in their beautiful surroundings. 

You can hear it coming, but aren't always sure what it is.  You can feel something changing, but can't put your finger on it.  You may smell change in the air, but don't know which way the wind is blowing.

Those three things happening swiftly reminded me to keep my head up and eyes open.  If you aren't taking time to experience "where you're at," all the planning in the world won't matter when you get to where you think you're supposed to be.

Those kindergarten lessons are always good ones.  Sorry the image isn't better quality - I was more focused on being twenty feet from them than focusing the image.  Living the experience rather showing it off - if only selfie sticks could be banned.

ALWAYS keep your eyes open...BELIEVE in yourself... CREATE opportunities... DON'T wait for extraordinary... EXPECT the unexpected... FRESH beginnings are fabulous... GRACE under pressure is good... HARD work pays off... IGNORE negativity... JUST breathe... KEEP the Faith!... LOVE wholeheartedly... MAKE it happen... NEVER too late to start... OFFER to help... PLEASE is appropriate... QUITTERS failed before trying... READ and learn... STAY true to yourself... TAKE time for loved ones... UNDERSTAND obstacles are detours... VICTORY can be yours... WAIT patiently (but not too long)... eXPRESS your feelings... YOU are beautiful... ZEST for life is contagious.

Own Your Story

The last day of the month usually has people clamor, “I can’t believe how fast the month passed!”  This month, homes around our country clean up and prepare for the coming warmer season and we find things that remind us of our past.  Some get safely stored while other reminders are thrown away.  But it never fails that we are always a bit “surprised” at how time flies.  While time is constant (flashback to physics classes), our perception of time changes as we age.

When we were younger, car rides to our grandparents’ home seemed to take forever though as we got older, we’d gladly take all the time we needed to get to spend time with loved ones.

When we were younger, the time we had to take tests in school seemed way too short; when we’re older, we realize tests are more than just a classroom exercise and some actually take years to successfully answer one question.

When we were younger, we could change who we were by dressing up in a different outfit (even if there was that one favorite costume) and today… we all need to realize if there is something uncomfortable about ourselves or if we have wishes that are unfulfilled, we can change it!

You need to own your story and tell the world who you are.  It’s more than the job you hold, the place you live, or with whom you spend your time.  There are pieces and parts of your life that influence who you are and how your story is written.  Just because you’ve done a job for five years - or 15 years - doesn’t mean that you need to stick with that role.

Achieved status means things we’ve accomplished in our lives.  It means we have worked to create another building block of our life. The choices we make say a lot about who we are.

You can achieve anything you want.

Then, make sure you tell your story that consistent with you who have become.  What would the title of your story be?  Strategy isn’t just for the workplace - it’s about being your authentic self and letting others know who you are.

https://hbr.org/2016/03/how-to-build-a-strategic-narrative

Negotiate a better salary - three tips and tricks

Nobody cares about you, honey - it’s all about the business.

You have to standup for yourself.  When passing into the “you’re hired” phase, many so-called experts tell you to highlight your good qualities when trying to get a better deal.  Wrong.  

With more than seven billion people in the world, the odds of someone else having those experiences and skills - even in a small town or a particular industry - I’d make a call to Vegas and wager money against you.

However, notice where I focused that last sentence - on the numbers.  It’s about numbers that work in your favor.  You need to show the new business that you know how to count. So what numbers should be important to you and why? 

Here are three tips on how to negotiate a better package from a new employer.

Problem one is all about that base.  Thanks, Megan Trainor.  The base is the focus, not the treble or other benefits.  That comes later...

Problem One: You are offered a lower base salary than you want.

Answer One: Look at the average base salary for that position in the city or region.  Then, also research the average years of people in same position.

Option One Part A: The base salary offered is lower.

Solution One Part A: You counter with knowledge of the industry by providing the average salary in a given area and incorporate the years on the job of the person in the role (if it is the same or less than yours).  Hard for a company to justify how they value you less than someone that’s average - and you don’t even have to explain how you’re better than just “average.” Use salary.com, glassdoor.com, payscale.com… you get the drift.  Compare a few, too, as Salary uses numbers from industry but Glassdoor uses employee self-reporting.

Option One Part B: The base salary offered is higher.

Solution One Part B: Don’t necessarily negotiate the base until after you review what’s next (but know you’ll likely take the offer and just want to see how to sweeten it).

Problem two is they better recognize.  Thanks, Honey Boo-Boo.  They need to recognize your work contributions...

Problem Two: You are offered either a lower merit bonus or no merit - or worse yet, a “team” bonus.

Answer Two: Refer back to Answer One. 

Option Two Part A: They offer a low or no bonus structure. 

Solution Two Part A: A bit longer explanation as bonus payments are more complicated… Review how their base salary offering compares to the average base in your profession for your job for your region for your years of experience.  If no merit is offered (or an older-model cost of living set increase), leverage it with the Solution One and a combination of your own past reviews (if they were good) to show your contributions.  Give them facts about your sales exceeding target, your patient satisfaction survey results, your student evaluations - whatever it takes for third party data to show them what they are getting.  Don’t say how great you are - third party acts are WAY BETTER and more successful. After all, you have nothing to say if the response is “no” if you just told them you are wonderful, but with metrics you can still have a second round of discussion.

Option Two Part B: They offer a  “team effort” bonus structure.

Solution Two Part B: Again longer explanation, but for a different reason than Part A. This is generally a no-win bonus as almost every job today has some system that, regardless of what you call it, is manipulated to cover cost of living increases.  Kind of like threatening with a big stick but forgetting a carrot.  These merit structures can’t be altered and this one stinks as it depends on other people not screwing up your money. However, your past performance ratings can influence a bigger base… meaning that the 3% they may say was awarded last year will be larger on a salary that’s $3,000 higher than the original offer.  Combined with the Solution One Part A, you can get a larger base salary (which means better matching for retirement, too).  Combine this personal initial agreement increase based on your past performance with Solution One Part B, you again get a larger base salary.  Refer back to point one - it’s all about the base and guaranteed money.

Problem three is what about me. Thanks, Kardashians.  The “selfie” here though is your bank account and portfolio...

Problem Three: The benefits structure seems lower - fewer days off than what you have now or less of a retirement match than what you have today.

Answer Three: A variation of Answer One - it’s all about where you start the count.

Option Three Part A: If you are leaving a company that gave you additional days vacation after your years of loyalty, tell the new employer.  State your current paid days off, sick time, or PTO.  Speak their language.

Solution Three Part A: This is a give-away for them.  The starting "days off" package is nearly always negotiable.  If you have experience in the industry - especially at a direct competitor - this is a good area to let them know they are not as generous as where you currently work.  You don’t need them (though you may want them) - they need you and is the last thing you review.  With the above steps, they should already be paying you appropriately at this point anyway, so putting extra “V”s in the system is easy. By gaining your experience and not a starter position that would only earn the intro rate, you can leverage what you know and how long you did it somewhere else as a reward, too.  But don’t let this be the deal breaker if you’ve already handled One and Two.

Option Three Part B: The new company doesn’t match as high of a percentage for retirement or takes longer to vest their contributions to your program.

Solution Three Part B: As this set-up is extremely unlikely to change, reframe it; let them know how the math works out against you, making their offer seem cheap (don’t say that literally).  Pretend you couldn’t get a better base for the sake of math here. Both jobs are annual $100,000, but the new job offered only 3%of salary match instead of 6% match of you current employer. The new job is actually paying you $3,000 less a year - over ten years, that’s $30,000 they don’t give you (forget the investment interest).  And I didn’t even do the “harder” math of raises, promotions, or that merit bonus - so it becomes more than $30,000! Effectively, this puts your negotiation back at Option One Part A - so you need to get this loss back into your base and you can tell them this component of your request to raise the base is so you can replace the decrease to your retirement contribution at the new company. 

There’s a lot of talk about underemployment in the supposed economic recovery from the 2008 recession in addition to gender pay-gaps in certain fields and other job trending information.  Any reason for the reduction in overall wages, sluggish increase in pay, or effective results lowering by age (younger or older) or gender - people aren’t sure how to get what they think they deserve for their skills.  They don’t want to lose a chance… but will regret taking a position if they didn’t try to get what they think they deserve. If you are professional during the negotiation, it only bodes well as they know you know your business and are willing to invest in your best project - yourself.

Going back to the beginning of this article - if you don’t look out for yourself, no one else will.  Have a cheerleader to remind you how great you are, but talk numbers when you are looking to take something from them to the bank.

The Most Important List

When you’re young, you think about your future, actually taking steps to practice being in that role: you dress up and play as a doctor, as a princess, as a knight, as a soldier.  Playtime (and practice) helps build skills - remember that book “All I really I need to know I learned in Kindergarten?”

You probably remember that book's “top ten” list (people love lists):
1. Share everything.
2. Play fair.
3. Don't hit people.
4. Put thngs back where you found them.
5. Clean up your own mess.
6. Don't take things that aren't yours.
7. Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.
8. Wash your hands before you eat.
9. Flush.
10. Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.

We subconsciously use lists all the time. For instance, when you buy things for yourself, family or friends, is “speed” at the top of that list, such as how fast you can get the task completed? Speed isn’t important unless you are buying a Porsche or you forgot to make a list and are running late for the birthday party.  I bet your list centers on quality when thinking of others.

If the above is your “kindergarten" list, what’s your "grown up" list? Do you even have a list? You should.  How will you know if you are exceeding your goals if there’s no ‘list'? 

Work forces you to accomplish things on a list.  You make a grocery list (it may or may not get used). There’s a house chores list.  These are little things and you take time to make a stupid list - what about the big things?

The most important list is the one that inspires you every day - to do the right thing, to be a good person, to sleep well at night.  The best lists are the ones that uplift and remind you of who you are, who was that little person that’s now a big person and can change the world.

To help you get started, you can pick ten things that are meaningful to you and how you want to live your life - then find inspiration.  

Here’s my list, and while I need to focus on them all everyday, it’s important to start… start with a list, and start remembering what is important.

1. Intent: It doesn’t matter what you say you believe - it only matters what you do. - Robert Fulghum 

2. Learning: Live as if you were to die tomorrow; learn as if you were to live forever. - Mahatma Ghandi

3. Attitude: I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.  - Jimmy Dean

4. Achievement: Start by doing what’s necessary; then do what’s possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible. - Francis of Assisi

5. Faith: Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. - Jesus Christ

6: Reward: Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence. - Vince Lombardi

7. Dream: There is no passion to be found playing small - in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living. - Nelson Mandela

8. Companionship: The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best. - Epictetus

9. Patience: In the practice of tolerance, one's enemy is the best teacher. - Dalai Lama

10: Service: Silence is Prayer; Prayer is Faith; Faith is Love; Love is Service; the Fruit of Service is Peace. - Mother Teresa

You can’t drive forward when you are looking in the rear view mirror.  

Look to the horizon as we enter the new spring season this weekend and blossom into who you really were born to be!

Priceless

Remember not to drive so much you forget to fill your gas tank - literally and figuratively.  Balance is priceless.

www.nola.com/entertainment/index.ssf/2016/03/i_hate_forgetting_to_remember.html

What's Holding You Back?

A friend of mine and I were talking this week, and at one point he laughed as he said, "You write books and I barely even read them."  

My two recent book projects are very different - one’s a research project involving several languages (luckily, the primary sources of these several hundred-year old documents are written in a foreign language that I speak).  But, there are a few other languages that “pop up” as I follow this factual trail back four hundred years.  It slows my progress, and sometimes - if I’m honest with myself - derails me for several days or even a week or two. 

Thinking more about what he said over the week (knowing he indeed reads yet still making a good point), I realized that “Millennials” get the bad wrap for being disinterested, wrought with attention deficits, or other self-absorbed entitlement descriptions.  Think about your own ascribed attributes for your “class” - economic category, race, gender, sexual orientation.  How many things about you are wrong because they aren’t about you but rather statements of perception?

Maybe ‘millennials might not read’ because there isn’t much worth reading.  Short lack-luster articles are posted by news outlets for rapid-fire consumption.  Truth be told, I don’t read those things much either - so why would I assume it’s the person’s fault and not the access to quality items for this problem?  

Being more considerate and thoughtful about “problems” (i.e. millennials have attention issues), it might be the definition is wrong… bored with what is being spoon-fed, they need challenges and seek their own path when not supported by the mainstream community - and by not letting what others say hold them back - Hello, Google!

It’s easy to fall into the “trap” of using ascribed status (meaning that which is written or said about “your kind of people”) than blazing forward to do more for your personal achieve status (the things you earn by your talent and vision).  If you can dream it, you can do it. 

Yes, things slow us down.  For me, it was language - but I recently got inspired again and have set a deadline to add another achievement to my dream list.  It’s not a bucket list - that’s doing what other people have done before and you’d like to try.  A dream list includes things YOU want to do for yourself.

These six women show how someone dreamed it and they did it - being recognized isn’t the reason for doing things.  Sometimes, you just need to prove to yourself you can.  Change your attitude and amaze yourself at what you can do.  Break through a wall, even if it’s accomplished one hit at a time.

https://www.upworthy.com/these-6-women-got-written-out-of-tech-history-theyre-finally-being-recognized?c=pop

Five Ways To Believe in Yourself Again

This is season of Lent, and many people are giving things up in order to refocus their lives.  Some see this as relinquishing aspects of overindulgence - sweets, alcohol, or particular food-types they somehow believe will make them better (carbs gone, red meat gone, gluten gone…) - while others add things to their routine such as getting back to the gym.

Rather than giving up things you enjoy (or adding things you may not enjoy), you would be healthier if you gave up the things that harm you.  The sacrifice is actually greater to give up unhealthy habits than indulgent pleasures - harder than giving up candy for forty days, but the rewards benefit you so much more!  Believe in yourself again by getting rid of dead “wait” - the proverbial weight that makes you second-guess yourself and keeps you from living.

It is an interesting parallel to taking shortcuts along the way.  Men and women forget the whole reason why they chose a certain path back “in the beginning.”  Do you remember?  Here’s how you eliminate your “dead wait” this season as you move toward great things:

1. Bust Out in Spring Cleaning

You’ve heard the phrase “there are people that come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.”  But many of us spend a lot of time on the relationships we have categorized as “a lifetime” rather than giving a lot of energy into “a reason” - trying to convert it to a season or a lifetime.  Spending and giving are two very different forms of remittance, and one means a whole lot more than the other.

We can’t help ourselves.  We get locked into habit.  This spring, this season, look at that list of contacts in your phone or your email, your social network and your business files.  That list represents names.  People.  Who matters most?  To whom should you give the most of your time?  “Create in me a clean heart” begins Psalms 51:10 - Clean up your priorities and make time for the right ones for the right reasons.

2. Encourage Yourself to “Go Blind”

While a blind date may not always be successful, when it comes to choosing your path going blind isn’t bad.  Rely on your heightened senses to guide you instead of your eyes deceiving you or making decision based on perception.  When “blind”, you aren’t making assumptions - you take action based on your gut - and our instincts are usually spot-on.  Blind means don’t look in the rear-view mirror, either.

Forget what lies behind you (Phil. 3:13’s introduction) and move toward what lies in front of you.  You know that doctors are saying don’t look down when walking, don’t test when walking, it bends your neck and causes a myriad of problems.  Don’t look down - don’t fret what’s ahead.  Know whatever is in front of you is better than what’s behind you: keep moving forward.

3. Imbibe in Things You Enjoy

At a crossroads in a friend’s life ten years ago, I asked him something to the effect of “what would you do if earning money was no object?” He immediately replied, “Be a carpenter.”  He liked the grains of the wood, designing pieces in his head, inhaling the scent as he sands the pieces, and he never forgets the color of pieces.  There was no hesitation in him.  

Enjoying life is important because the memory of joy stays with you even when you struggle (you guessed it - Ecc 8:15).  If you can’t make money at your passion yet, at least make sure you do something for fun on a regular basis.  Use your talent to bring joy to your life.  Filling your non-work hours with enjoyable pastimes reduces stress and increases your happiness. 

4. Remember Your Fairy Tale

There was a story about a nameless nobleman, who wanted to fight wrongdoings and bring justice to the world.  He finds a friend, looks to do good works, and eventually becomes discouraged.   You’d know the story if I told you it was Don Quixote a la Mancha - but you’d only be partially right.  You only remember the name and the place, but not the raison d’être. 

The first three words are the most important part of the tale - The Ingenious Gentleman.  Imagination and Ingenuity got him through his battles - he didn’t conform to the norm, and why should you?  1 Samuel 16:7 reminds us to look beyond the outer person and into the heart of their nature - look into your heart. Remember the WHOLE story of why you wanted to take those first steps and your real reason for being…

5. And…Never Say Never

What’s never been done is merely an opportunity for you to be the first to get to the finish line.  And don’t plan to just “get there” - blow right past your goal.  If you plan to go farther than you want, you know you will absolutely make it to where you want to be and beyond.  (I will let you find your own verse about being blessed!)

Frederica Mathewes-Green says, “Everyone wants to be transformed, but nobody wants to change.” If you never change, you never grow.  If you never reach, you never stretch.  Lent is a time for passion in miracles - you are a miracle and can do miraculous things.  

Take flight, have faith, be blessed, never forget your imagination - you will succeed!

Happy Mardi Gras

There's a time to relax... and just enjoy the music.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0wNSHPQj0W8&list=PL7C39819549B89FA4 

Older posts on business and leadership can be viewed here or at     http://www.rre-llc.com/blog.html 

(Picture taken by me this weekend, Carnival 2016)

Three Lessons Learned

Thirty years ago today, the heights of human imagination had a tremendous shock with the loss of the Challenger.  Yet in the days and weeks following, there was a resounding consensus to push forward and onward.

The experts involved did a retrospective analysis of what went wrong and how they could improve moving forward - and that took about three years.  They took the time needed in order to see what precipitated failures in the project, trying to understand what went wrong and to prevent those errors in the next generation of equipment.

People not only remember this event because it was the first fatalities during a launch, but also it was the first mission for a civilian - a teacher, who was brave enough to show her students what you could do with a little effort and a lot of dreaming.  The catastrophe changed the culture of one of the most amazing endeavors the world has ever known - and made the quest for space even better as well as catapulted other projects, like the Hubble Telescope or the New Horizons spacecraft.

Reviews of seventy-three seconds were essential to reframing the next steps.  However, there was a limited timeframe in which they looked backward, and it was all focused on how to move forward.  And while we may now think back on it, we have healed and take new steps toward new goals with improved tools.

You can take any tragedy and apply three lessons to your life, because life is short enough to not squander blessings, family and friends because you are doing what you don't want to do.  When you focus on the good in your world, more good will come - and that's the best lesson of all from three decades past a devastating national event.

- Quit looking at what you don't have or what you have lost.

- If you aren't putting demands on yourself, you aren't growing.

- Focus on where you want to be and what you love in life.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/arts-and-entertainment/wp/2016/01/28/weve-lost-em-god-bless-em-what-it-was-like-to-witness-the-challenger-disaster/

Choose Your Attitude

There's a winter song, In the Bleak Midwinter, that describes the cold short days with beautiful similes such as "earth stood hard as iron" and "water like a stone".  The melody floats and carries lightly on the air while the harmonies support it throughout the song - sometimes in perfect thirds, sometimes with dissonance.

But if you only judge a song by its title, you'd never hear it.  You would focus on the bleak and turn away, thinking enough of winter as there's no joy in the cold or snow.  If you turn away from this because of one word out of four, it isn't hard to imagine the focus you place on other things, various events, or the viewpoint you employ every day.

You would be missing something pleasant and enjoyable - and if you do this for a song, think of all the other things that you miss.  You set the stage for your own path.  Arguably, some believe we are predestined while others say choosing our direction is possible.  Even if we are predestined, choosing your attitude will improve the travel toward your own greatness... and the others around you will be very appreciative, too.

Just look at this panda (below) enjoying the time midwinter, creatively figuring out a way to play.  The panda knows it won't escape the snow, and likely realizes it won't escape it's enclosure.  But choosing to enjoy what's before it gives it a much happier existence than moping around huddled in a corner waiting for spring.

Develop your focus on happier things, and you'll be able to begin see yourself as halfway through a winter period rather than immersed in the bleak surroundings.  With the market fluctuations and businesses changing all around us, we need to shift our perceptions - something we can control - rather than expecting to impact the many other variables that surround us.

http://mashable.com/2016/01/15/toronto-zoo-panda-plays-in-snow/#doJlkQ7OfGqD 

Paying It Forward

It would be a leading question to ask if anyone has ever helped you.  Of course they have.  But when was the last time you really thought about someone who helped you?

What's the first memory of a person stepping up to assist you - was it memories in childhood or a more recent memory in a workplace?  Timing makes a difference.  We are conditioned to jump to conclusion that something is negative, that the years that have past always mean something bad. Not true!

If you immediately were whisked back to your youth, you have a strong connection to values, which were instilled by your family, and your family is important to you.  They shape your life and the things that you do every day.  

Conversely, if a more recent work situation came to mind, it shows that you have built a strong community where you landed after school. Strong relationships made a lasting impact as you were promoted in your profession.  The work you do is important to you.

By reviewing the things that are deeply important to you on a more regular basis, you can make sure you "walk the walk."  Be it formal mentoring of a recent graduate, taking a single opportunity to help a neighbor in a snowstorm, volunteering on a regular basis for a non-profit, or dreaming big and putting into action a project like the vision for veterans below, you can be kind - exponentially - and be the change you want to see in the world.

When we take these ideas to the big picture in our community, we realize the beauty of what's created by seeing everything come together; we better see that people aren't all the same color, shape and size (as in the photo above).  We can make the whole better by helping the individual pieces.

Notice the title of this post is composed using an action verb - Paying.   Helping should not be a one-stop trip, but an ongoing process.  The approaching weekend is the "official" Pay It Forward weekend, starting on Friday and concluding Sunday evening.  But why let someone else put limits on your time?  Decide for yourself how much you owe to others for helping you, and continue paying it forward with interest.

http://www.nola.com/business/index.ssf/2016/01/veterans_housing_new_orleans_b.html 

New Year, Renewed Ideas

The new year brings new ideas - today has been called Epiphany in Christianity, which also means revelation in secular terms.

Have you considered, though, that the most successful resolutions harken back to "old" ideas that we simply have forgotten?  This is the time of year that - already - people drift from their new resolutions of just a week ago that were to create a "new" self.  They want to make changes to this or that, and appear to others better than we ever were.

But what happened to your childhood dreams?  Youth is a time when there are no constraints on imagination, on how high you could fly, on what you could do, or where you would go.  No challenge was too great to too small.  Slowly, outside ideas and expectations changed who you thought you could become.

You could battle the world with your imagination suddenly was no longer as palatable.  Conforming started to happen and your environment changed as your outlook changed.  It was better suited to meet other's expectations rather than your own.  You became comfortable where you were.

Well, stop it!  Say yes to a new challenge this year, big or small - it expands your horizons.  Perhaps it will refresh and renew your childhood dreams.  Find comfort in uncertainty as you broaden your exposure to new ideas.  Enjoy the moment, and feel the freedom renewed as though you were a child again.    

Take your former temporary happy moments and make a permanent positive mark in your life -  follow your passions rather than just chasing a paycheck.  Make this year about you and renew the ideas that once fueled your dreams. 

Even a small step like this could make your heart warmer, and remind you of great days that can come ahead.  http://www.buzzfeed.com/javiermoreno/this-cafe-opens-its-doors-to-let-stray-dogs-sleep-inside-dur#.ptezlAl1x

Sound of Chaos versus Sound of a Butterfly

This is the time of year when many people consider how to change their lives (so they can "check the box" for New Year's Resolution), yet they are so busy running around that they don't actually make improvements in their lives.  They don't take the time to think how small changes in themselves can change the world.

There is a phenomenon called the "butterfly effect."  When the smallest of events - the beating of a butterfly's wings - can alter the course of other events.  The person who researched it most used the example of how the movement of wings several weeks prior can impact the formation of a hurricane.

That's a pretty significant impact for something so small.  Juxtaposed to chaos theory of the 1890s, this 1960s revelation shows how simple systems make a huge difference.  

It also lets us know that however prepared we'd like to be, we never know all of the conditions that impact an outcome - we never know what butterfly could alter our lives when it's on its normal path.

Think of the difference your smile can make as you complete those errands - perhaps you help distract an upset child as he's being toted along another person's list of things to do.  What if the pennies you left in the change dish by the register meant that another person at the checkout could buy the bag of flour needed to make cookies for a sick relative?

Conversely, when something pretty amazing takes shape in front of you, don't rush to get to your next errand.  You should stop and see what develops from a moment of randomness, such as this Paris train station moment.  Even time seems to stand still when the broadcaster stops reading the schedule so the butterfly effect impacts everyone nearby.

http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/5679f8a9e4b014efe0d780a6

Stand Up

Real strength is not how much you bench-press, but rather the invisible threads that keep us standing tall in the toughest of situations.  Whether its something at work or situations at home, we have all found things "to test our strength."

How you handle difficulties says a lot about you and how you were raised.  Interviewers love to ask the questions trying to ferret out weakness.  It seems to be a focus of future employers to find ways that determine how they can get the strongest candidate.  Not always functional inquiries, they are almost always uncomfortable for the interviewee - and we are never quite sure, on either end, what was really gained by the exchange.

There are some employers - the people, not the companies - that seek out a weakness and then use it to manipulate a situation to their advantage.  These people are hard to spot at first, but that punch that comes after trying to engage in camaraderie, and they figure out how to twist a proverbial knife every chance they get.  It's up to the employee to do the right thing when really it should be both sides working together and being productive instead of classic cases of one-upmanship. (Think of all the great accomplishments if people actually focused on work instead of gossip and getting out of work!)

And then there are other leaders that may see your weakness easily and painlessly, yet become gentle mentors as to how you can reduce your weakness.  It may be learning about a certain topic, but more often than not it is tutelage from their own experiences, perhaps through a lesson they learned the hard way.  It becomes a work partnership - and if you've ever had the fortune to work with someone like this, your work is a pleasure and the workplace is more productive than you could ever imagine.

While the workplace is trial-and-error with strangers, home is where the foundations of skills and relationships were built, and where imagination starts surrounded by people that love you.  It's where you learned how to balance the important things growing up and you now do with your children, as the chores need to be completed at certain times and board games taught you to think on your feet.  There, the reason behind your mistake (child or adult) is explained, your values are lived and the right things encouraged every day in a safe environment.  

People like tests and to see how they fall against others' results.  Everywhere we go, we make a stronger impression with our actions than our words.  Evaluate your strengths honestly, and stand up to the bullies and bad situations in the world.  When you focus on the good in you, you bring more good to you.  You don't know how strong you are until the time comes, but follow the advice of #21 and be your best self.  

http://www.businessinsider.com/signs-of-mental-strength-2015-12 

Leading By Example

Today, Angela Merkel is the Time Magazine Person of the Year.  This is significant for many reasons, not the least of which is the accomplishment of a lone female winning the award for the first time in 29 years.  (Philippine President Corazon Aquino was the last lone female in 1986, for "leading a democratic revolution that captured the world's imagination.")  But the considerations of today's selection are much more than this statistic that some MSM are reporting today.

Time Magazine gives many reasons for her selection. She has outsmarted her opponents.  "Providing steadfast moral leadership in a world where it is in short supply" is the closing phrase of the article.  She "brandished a different set of values - humanity, generosity, tolerance."  Another quote about leadership reveals an intriguing insight: Leaders are tested only when people don't want to follow.

The truth of this statement rings worldwide.  In a time of upheaval and uncertainty, leaders in any realm (politics or commerce) must lead... not manage or just rearrange the papers.  The four important descriptors show us how all leaders need to incorporate and embody (not just reflect) in order to succeed in times of turmoil and how we reach those times of peace.

Of course, being a PhD quantum chemist helps you outsmart.  Being the daughter of a minister helps you practice humanity.  Opening doors when the world is afraid shows generosity. Putting up with the dogs of a peer (Putin) when you are reportedly afraid demonstrates your tolerance.

Nature versus nurture, environment versus biology.  The end result - You have to make the choice every day who you want to be.  Find a good place to start and begin, with baby steps, to make bold change in the world.

 

Special Notes

This is the time of year when people realize it's been twelve months since they've caught up with some friends, typically wishing them a happy holiday season.  In an ever-busy world, have you noticed that with cards you still receive, there's a generic typed missive with a paragraph on each person's successes and activities of the sender's year?

Increasingly, people give a note-dump in the holiday card... intended to be easy for them to make, easy for you to read.  But friendships have a lot of value in the little things that make them special - the sharing of the small details, the extra effort to wrap a gift in the favorite color, the connection even in the "mundane."

At these holidays when friends are celebrating a significant religious event, a hand-written note is something special.  You put time into what you are going to say to that particular person.  The flaws of your script are endearing, not troublesome.  Even selecting the perfect card for that friend is an important part of the ritual of holiday cards.

Office cards for important clients (or some send a card for all donors, for instance) show that you thought of them, too.  It's sets your brand apart.  Business cards aren't necessarily hand-written, but a quick note or thank you, wishing them a great year ahead, at the closing of the company card shows that you took time to say something special.

When communications become transactional rather than relational, it's not the time to get desperate.  After all, when you feel forced to communicate and send electronic notes for "status updates," it starts feeling awkward with updates on updates that you will get, or repeat updates from generic notes you already got.  Keep your work brand special and your friendships maintaining that unique touch all year long.

http://fortune.com/2015/12/07/us-postal-service-email-mail/

Seventy Four

Returning from recharging - good to do at this time of year.

It was actually Seventy for me.  It was 70 years after those horrible events that I was able to travel and see the memorial.  My grandfather fought for America's freedom - I have his medals framed where I can see them every day, along with another shadow box with things like the "censor approved" anniversary postcard he sent to my grandmother from "abroad", his dog tag (and hers) as well as some of the family ration cards.

Indications are, from fact and some of his statements, that he was one of the first paratroopers into the European front.  When he came home, even though the family vacation was 1200+ miles each year, he refused to fly.  He gently refused to eat things out of cans.  Sometimes, he would just sit under the big tree they planted at the house right after my grandparents were married.

Today - 74 years after the attack on Pearl Harbor - it is especially important to remember the sacrifices others have made to keep us safe. In these tumultuous times, keep your families close to your heart; enjoy your time and make happy memories.  It is difficult to remember unpleasant things, but it is the only way we learn lest history repeats itself (in actions as well as responses).

According to officials at the Pearl Harbor Museum, this was the first year that there were no Pearl Harbor survivors to attend a ceremony.  

Though time has passed, remember what others have given so that you may have so much.  Anniversaries come and go, happy and sad - remember what they mean as it's not the things that count, but how events impact our lives.